In which a Dude rudely tells a woman she’s wrong about sexism, misogyny and rape culture, which in a feat of epic meta perfectly illustrates sexism, misogyny and rape culture by perpetuating them.
This evening I tweeted;
Is Chomsky a rape apologist too? Would it be quicker to just list dudes on the left who aren’t rape apologists? (Do they exist?)
Then as if by magic I get a seemingly innocent question from a random bloke I don’t follow and who doesn’t follow me asking me to ‘explain it’. Assuming he genuinely didn’t know what I was talking about and hence that’s why he was asking, I said it’s because of support for Assange and the belittling of the rape allegations. These two posts by AWOL explain the issues of why so many women have issues with Assange and his rape apology brohorts…
In reply I get a whole series of aggressive and patronising tweets in typical brocialist manarchist style telling me a load of stuff I already know in a tone that assumes I’m just a silly little girl who knows nothing. I state that I am sick of arguing about all this shit , that I don’t owe anyone a ‘discussion’ and that I am blocking him. I get this response:
Don’t be so self-righteous. That’s patriarchal. Be a feminist, be open minded and let me explain.
He won’t give up his mansplaining, I get an email! Which blatantly disregards the fact I’ve said I do not wish to discuss it and furthermore to get my email he would have had to deliberately go to my blog to find it, which is both creepy and pathetic. He then proceeds to continue his education on what misogyny REALLY is:
“So, figured I’d still write you a reply, even if you’ve blocked me on Twitter. It’s disgusting of you to call me a misogynist. Do you know why? Because a misogynist hates women. They despise them, they think of them as second class, as slaves to the patriarchy. Now, to suggest to me, based up 140 characters that I’m a misogynist, is the exact problem with patriarchy.”
WELL DUDE, THAT IS MISOGYNY. THAT IS PATRIARCHY. THAT IS MANSPLAINING BULLSHIT OF THE HIGHEST ORDER!
The arrogance and sense of entitlement in that email IS PATRIARCHY IN ACTION.
A man who is behaves in an aggressive and domineering manner, lecturing a woman who has said she doesn’t want to talk to him anymore, is classic male entitlement, exactly the same entitlement to women’s time and bodies that is at the root of rape culture.
Assuming that you have the right to have your voice heard by those who have stated they want nothing more to do with you? PATRIARCHAL BULLSHIT!
Giving me an unwanted lecture on what the issue about Julian Assange ‘really are’ with the default assumption that I know nothing about the situation? PATRIARCHAL BULLSHIT!
Derailing, the positioning of ‘the other issues’ as more important than rape culture, than the rape allegations themselves, than the siders issues of misogyny on the left, which I brought up precisely because the Assange case is not an isolated incident and is an example of the derailing and pleas to focus on ‘the bigger issues’ that have been used by men on the left to cover up their abuse of women for years and to shout down any women who discuss it; see this post by Stavvers on Sexism on the Left for more background. YES, THATS PATRIARCHAL BULLSHIT TOO!
Further more when you lecture me and include this line;
‘that’s why rape culture exists, because no one takes a hard enough line against it.’
THAT’S PATRIARCHAL BULLSHIT IN EXTREMIS
WHEN YOU ARE EXCUSING AND PERPETUATING RAPE CULTURE YOURSELF, WHEN YOU ARE IGNORING A WOMAN WHO IS POINTING OUT RAPE CULTURE TO YOU RIGHT NOW, THAT IS MISOGYNY. THAT IS PATRIARCHY. YOU HAVE WON THE MANSPLAINING DOUCHEBAG BINGO AWARD. YOU HAVE EXCELLED IN PATRIARCHAL BULSHITTING. IN SHORT : YOU ARE THE FUCKING PROBLEM
Dude; If you’re reading this, I have absolutely no interest in further discussion with you, or anyone else on this matter.