Yesterday after what has felt like aeons, I had an ‘up’ mood. I felt euphoric for a bit, I wanted to do stuff, I wanted to party till dawn; but alas (or perhaps for the best) a miserable Tuesday night is not prime party night. Though it swiftly lead to insomnia and frustration at staying in, and the return of a bad habit.
Now I feel rather mixed, I still have a bit of a buzz but due to the insomnia that comes with these moods I’m not very awake. It’s like when you have coffee to stay awake and it leaves you buzzed but sleepy at the same time. That frustration at wanting to do so many things yet not having the means, or energy, to do so.
But god it’s good to feel something after so long! I have feelings beyond ‘meh’ and ‘humphpppwhatever’! I’m alive! I’m a person!
Though in these moods when I finally have an urge to do something, it’s never anything on the list of ‘important stuff I should really get around to’.